There is a famous sculpture by Celeste Roberge, that, while not her initial plan, has been widely described and shared as depicting the “weight of grief”. After so many years of compounding grief, I look at it and immediately feel a connection to the sculpture. It looks like I feel. 4,000 pounds of sorrow. Each rock representing a facet of all that I feel made up now.
- Sadness
- Guilt
- Confusion
- Hopelessness
- Failure
- Loneliness
- Desperation
- Denial
- Self-doubt
- Disappointment
- Loss
- Bitterness
- Anger
- Blame
- Regret
- Shame
- Pain
- Heartache
- Disbelief
In clearer moments I know there is more to me that the list above. I know I’m held and seen by Someone who speaks much more truth into me. But the clear moments aren’t all that common yet. And the weight of grief is sometimes suffocating.
Claassen Clan 
Lindsey I believe that you are working to grieve in your way, your time and your speed. There is not a time clock on how, when, why and where. It’s your grief. You will know when thinking, speaking and feeling Deacon that YOU have completed the first part of grieving the loss of a child. You will move on to the next part and there is not a book to say how. You will know because you are the one traveling through it! I know when I lost my brother I didn’t know one could hurt so bad, so long and feel so deeply their non existence in my physical world. It has been 21 years now . I can think about him, talk about him and feel him without tears so heavy you feel your surely going to die! I still at times cry when I’m extremely lonely for him but I can honestly say time is your only healing tool! You and your entire family are always in my prayers!!! I love that you have taken journaling back up it to has so many healing properties to it!!!!Hugs❤️
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I read recently: “If you simply can’t understand why someone is grieving so much, for so long, then consider yourself fortunate that you do not understand.” Joanne Cacciatore
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